Let's kick it back to online dating in today's world shall we? Minxed is a sexually attractive woman who causes trouble. In dating, I've realized that might be me ya'll (*insert awkward cheese smile face emoji*). First off may I say, I don't mind being the villian in your story because you're a clown in mine. To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with people. My posts are not generally directed towards anybody unless I specifically call you out but if the shoe fits, wear it Cinderfuckenrella. Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you, as a joke. Women fuck who they want. Men fuck who they can. Remember that. I'm honestly not mad at anyone for anything they ever did to me while online dating. You showed me you. I needed that. You only exist if I allow you, this is my world. And posting this is way more fun when you know you are being stalked by several people. To those who watch my life and gossip about it. Don't give up. Season 2 is coming.
I'm like ten people packed into 1 body. Spin the wheel motherfucker. Dudes be like "I'm cut from a different cloth." First of all, you a napkin. I will never apologize for the way I reacted to how you had me fucked up. Forgive and forget? Nah...fuck you and fuck that. I identify as a threat. My pronouns are try/me. Once you show me I am an option I am going to show you how many I got. Imagine fumbling me. Condolences. I will not water myself down to make me more digestible for you. You can choke. Apology accepted. Trust denied. We move on. When Rihanna said, "I regret opening up to some people, they didn't deserve to know me like that." That hit home.
I want a man but not just any rinky dink guy that so many woman settle for. I am looking for a real man with specific qualities. Please do not underestimate my ability to delete your number and act like I never met you. Insulting a girl because you couldn't get her, is the highest level of stupidity. You can't threaten me with screenshots. Bitch get a microphone, I'll say it again. People hate when they can't get under your skin. I'm at peace and you're in pieces. Your apology needs to be as loud as your disrespect was. Stay blessed. **Gently puts my mental health in rice.** I'm no longer dating. If you're interested in me I need a 500 word essay on how you will not waste my time. Whoever did voodoo on my lovelife can chill now I learned my lessons. Just because I loved you at one point does not mean I will always love you. I'm not Whitney Houston.
I think part of my problem is I like to see how red the flag can get. I have my "type." And I need a new one. If I can treat myself better than you treat me then what do I need you for? The fact I gotta go to work and be my own sugar mama is crazy dawg. It's the reciprocity for me. I deserve to be filled the same way I pour. When in doubt throw the whole dude out. Delete him. Act like you never met him and he never happened. On a serious note, the only thing life is teaching me right now is that I can really do this shit all by myself. "Husband material" doesn't leave you confused, insecure, alone, and unloved ladies. Someone said, "I'd rather adjust to your absence than be frustrated by your presense." I felt that. When you are independent on your own there is really nothing a man can offer you other than how he treats you. And babygirl, if you're hurting and it doesn't bother him, he ain't the one. As loving as I am, my detachement game is strong too. A man that cannot communicate cannot lead. The amount of men looking to be treated like ladies is astonishing. Communication is only hard for someone that doesn't want to be with you. And the narcs, the narcissists want authority of a king but have the accountability of a toddler. Men that do nothing for you deserve nothing from you. I came. I saw. I felt the energy. So I left. Submission is an act in response to being loved- properly. Kowing a man loves you but can't love you properly is a painful situation. Never regret being a good woman to the wrong man, his loss. Darling, only girls try to change a man. Women simply change directions.
The most attractive thing to me is effort. Someone who really wants to talk to me, wants to see me, and wants to make me a part of their day. I no longer have the energy to tell people what they did wrong, be blessed and have a great life. I can't do people how they do me. God holds me to a different standard. And for the sake of your mental health start taking mixed signals as a no. My new love language is not having to ask. Do you know how much chaos it took to make me this calm? God will never let what you've lost, be the best you've ever had. I have a soul too deep for meaningless connections. Being toxic is not cute. Grow up and learn how to love properly. My standards are high because I can provide what I require. I did that wifey shit, loyal shit, stayed on my best behavior shit and I still wasn't appreciated so now I'm in my ME era. I'm a little difficult but I'm a good one. If standing up for yourself burns a bridge. I have matches. We ride at dawn.
Full offense but if I openly communicate the ways your actions and words hurt me and you choose to ignore my truth because it challenges you, then I won't feel bad removing you. I simply do not have time for immaturity, manipulation, projection or passive behaviors, believe that. I match your energy and you get upset? Tough. A man who tells the truth doesn't mind being questioned. A liar does. To walk away from someone you care about who cannot meet your needs is one of the bravest acts you can do. A real man is going to respect you even when he is mad at you. Rememeber that. It's also the loyalty behind my back for me. When a man wants you he will literally come and get you. I find calm men so attractive. I love the gentle aura. A man who doesn't yell at me when he's upset, who brings peace and eases my anxiety. I just want to feel calm and safe with you.
Some women, like myself, have wife written all over you but ya'll keep picking men who don't know how to read. A man will naturally want to feed you, take you out, have fun with you and be nice to you. You do not need to be teaching anybody how to do that and you certainly shouldn't have to beg for it. I don't ask to be spoiled but if my presence doesn't inspire you to treat me like a princess, we won't go much further. Someone said, "real growth starts when you are tired of your own shit." And I felt that. Ya'll ever look at a man you used to be so weak for and just feel disgusted lol. Real power is the ability to stay in your peace while surrounded by ungrounded mfs. So.. I am realizing I require alot & that's okay because I give alot. Normalize leaving people in whatever weird reality they have chosen. Marry a man that wants to be a husband, not a man who just wants a wife.
Once a woman quiets her mind her soul will tell her what to keep and who to let go of for good. Healing also means taking an honest look at the role you play in your own suffering. I think it's sexy when someone can handle my attitude and smart ass mouth instead of being a little bitch and leaving. I love ten times harder when I am loved correctly. Good sense of humor, dirty mind, and a beautiful heart. Deadly combination. But fool me once, pack your shit. You know what's sexier than a bad boy? A badass man that has his shit together. Long before Alice fell down the rabbit hole. And before the roses were painted red..the Queen of hearts was just a girl in love for the first time with a good man. Be minxed and trust no man, fear no bitch, kiss no ass, and chase no dick. Or open your heart to finding your forever. You choose.
Wait ya'll, am I the problem here. I am self-aware enough to observe what I do with good men. I get bored and self-sabotage so I can run before they can. The anxious attachement style in me doesn't seek their validation at first until I start to feel a shift of them potentially pulling away. Then I want to be treated like a babygirl who gets all their attention. And when I don't get that I explode the whole potential between us that ever existed. So I guess I'll awkwardly say sorry to all the men I've ghosted and ran from. Me: Soo I met this guy. Me (two days later):nevermind. I have the sweetest venom and a beautiful death stare. My aura is black with a hint of glitter and a dash of cyanide. A woman's need for intimacy is stronger than a man's desire for sex. I'll give you a minute to let that sink in.
I asked her if she believed in love and she smiled and said it was her most elaborate method of self-harm. She was poetry but he couldn't read. She was beautifully complicated and terrifyingly simple, in a world that had no idea how to love her. She's the best of both worlds. She has a dirty mind and a clean conscience about it. You said you liked storms, so I let you in. Turns out you can only handle a little rain. And I am a hurricane. Someone told me: Be careful, the devil can hear your prayers too. He doesn't always come with horns and a pitchfork, sometimes he comes dressed up like everything you ever wanted. Now let's get down to business. I don't mind being the villian in your story because you're a clown in mine. To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.
XOXO
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